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Sex With Women: Send Simmons!

This is a song about a man called Simmons who buys TVs and sorts the fuck out of shit.

(The letterboxing got messed up. We don’t know how this happened).

Lyrics:

He buys big TVs, that’s Simmons.
He buys HD DVDs, that’s Simmons.
He doesn’t mince his words, that’s Simmons.
He’ll Sky+ Northern Birds, that’s Simmons.

There’s a problem in Madrid. Send Simmons!
There’s a problem in Delhi. Well send bloody Simmons!
There’s a problem in Paris, Brussels and New York City too,
Send Simmons! But he’s not here. Well then send Simmons!

He cycles mountain paths, that’s Simmons.
He’s a bit too good at maths, that’s Simmons.
He’s at his sexual peak, that’s Simmons.
He’s on fifty grand a week, that’s Simmons.

There’s a problem in the gritter. Send Simmons!
Theres’ a problem in our shitter. Well send fucking Simmons!
There’s a problem in our bog, I have dropped a ten-ton log.
Send Simmons. But he’s not here. Well send bloody Simmons!

Simmons, Simmons, Simmons, Simmons, Simmons, Simmons, Simmons, Simmons.

Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis.

Simmons, penis, Simmons, penis, Simmons, penis, Simmons’ penis lasagne.

There’s been an outbreak of aids! Send Simmons!
A woman’s just been raped! Well send cunting Simmons!
If you ever need a man just to scratch your hairy arse,
Send for Simmons, he’s your man, send for Simmons!

Send for Simmons, he’s your man, send for Simmons!

Send for Simmons, he’s your man, send for Simmons!

Send for Simmons, he’s your man, he’s got a penis!